On Storms and Faith


A few months ago I would have sent out a posse to anyone writing this, but I have done a bit of thinking lately on the subject of religion and natural disasters.

I realize that I find it distasteful to seek God’s will in a hurricane, a tornado, or any other force of nature. Because even if it God’s will to accomplish anything using nature, it would be man’s will to interpret this particular act of volition and man, no matter what creed he professes, is invariably wrong.

In the aftermath of Hurricane Irene, we could easily presume that God is slightly pissed but not too angry at us godless and immoral inhabitants of the northeast. Earlier in the week, pre-Irene, a cabal of Muslim dunkoffs said this weeks measly e-quake epicentered near D.C. was proof that Allah was angry at Amerika. Indeed — if the magnitude of earthquakes was any indicator, God hates the Muslim world, which has suffered a ton more huge earthquakes over the millennia than the Western infidel world (not counting the Left Coast, which I believe should be acceded to the Dar al Islam immediately just so us righty wackos can soak in the pleasure of seeing the heads outspoken libs, homos and other dhimmocrats get plunked en masse by bearded savages).

But let’s speak to the familiar rant of home soil religiosity. As one who has once decorated the pews and hotel room seats of revivals and amen’d raging preachers’ correlations between force majeur and the plight of soulless sinners in the claws of an angry God, I must now repent. I frankly do not believe that God operates like that. Indeed, I bet he has more fun seeing what happens when a hurricane charges up the coast and looses all kinds of unknown species of bugs from the swamps on a pampered populace living in the burbs. Having pulled off strange looking vermin from my skin after tropical storms many times, I can bet that He does indeed enjoying the buzz of creation swarming in the tropical haze like that.

Well, before I inspire a religious posse to come at me with their godly wrath, I better leave it at this and continue to hunker down while God finishes his latest and breathy rebuke over O Canada. Enjoy the sunshine, my beloved!

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About Pete Mladineo


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