Conspiracy of the Meadows


The other day I was biking around during my lunch break. We have some capacious meadows turned into bike trails nearby and I often use those to blow off some steam and calories. Nearing my turnaround point, I noticed a peculiar sign (left) that seems to be a sign of our times in these Big Sisterish times. Now, the obvious culprit are those county trucks that have been building this bike trail for the last — count ’em — 22 years. Or the other, slightly nervier version smacks of gummint conspiracy, surveillance, military-industrial complex pot growth collusion.

Perhaps, as others have suggested, an even more nefarious plot lurks… The tracks you see in this photo are tank tracks and that this pristine and bucolic 30-acre sprawl known as M****r Meadows is actually a hideaway for clandestine gummint clampdown maneuverings poised to happen when they decide not to have the election come November and people start taking to the streets. Notice I had to strike that last paragraph or face the jackboots at the door late night.

Still, my reaction, of wtf! is not to be minimized. In Joizey, where pristine wilderness is sometimes hard to find, and when you do find it, running into a “Authorized Vehicles Only” sign like this is like running into a closed Wal-Mart on a Saturday night. No way. One wonders indeed if there is a cop with a taser hiding behind one of those bushes. Believe you me, I’ve seen cops hiding behind bushes in my time in this cop Nazi state! Since I was on my lunch break I did not venture in to find out. Plus, if I was tasered and scandalized, I did not want to end up up high on Drudge. Not a good way to start one’s day, I might add…

I have seen vehicles other than bikes happening through the park, sometimes even weaving along dangerously down the bike path. Perhaps they were not authorized, or drunk. We shall never know, at this point. I didn’t stop to ask the drivers. They had several tons of steel behind them to make their point in their haze of delirium doing the weave down the “nobody’s gonna see me for miles bike path,” I had several pounds of aluminum and a greasy chain, and of course a Bell bikers helmet to keep me safe.

Either way, thought it was a wacked sign to have way out in the meadows and the conspiracies are flooding in and wouldn’t ya know, they’re all correct.

 

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About Pete Mladineo


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